Every year in May the need for more foster carers is highlighted through Fostering Fortnight.
The Fostering Foundation say, “We believe fostering is a hugely important role, offering children and young people a stable home when their own family is are unable to do so.
“The Fostering Foundation is a small, welcoming, friendly agency of foster carers, supervising social workers, administrators, therapists and support staff. We offer outstanding support to foster carers and children, from support groups for adults, sons and daughters and fostered children, basic to more advanced training, to out-of-hours support and support workers. Our aim is to support you to make a positive difference to a child’s life, whether they are placed with you in the short term and return home to their families, or for the long term, when they become a part of your family’s future.”
“Sarah and Pauline (not their real names) are both foster carers for The Fostering Foundation. They speak passionately about their jobs – for it is a job, for which they are paid an allowance – but it is so much more than that. It’s a real vocation – and not one to be taken lightly.
“Sarah has two children of her own and her youngest was eleven when she and her husband took the big decision to become foster carers.”
She said, “We thought about it for a long time and I think we eventually decided to do it because we wanted to make a difference. If you can help even just one child to have a positive outcome in life, it’s got to be good.”
Sarah has two foster children, one of them has been with her just over eight years, the other five and a half years. She said she has been through some hugely challenging times – but it has been great to see children which who haven’t had the best of starts in life, begin to grow and flourish in a loving, caring and stable environment.
Pauline, who has grown up children of her own, differs from Sarah in that she has had short term placements, in addition to a foster child who has now been with her for nearly nine years. She said it was incredibly difficult to say goodbye to a child and that she had been through some tough times, but that it was important to maintain a positive outlook.
While Sarah believes the fostering experience has had a very positive impact on the way her own children have grown up, Pauline feels, certainly for her, that it was good to wait until her children had flown the nest before she started fostering. She said, “I still felt I had love to give children and I couldn’t imagine not having children around,”
Sarah and Pauline place great emphasis on the importance of being honest with their fostered children and stress how important it is to create boundaries in terms of expected behaviour and family rules. ‘Sticking to your guns’ was a phrase that cropped up several times – but more than anything else, was that word ‘rewarding’.
If you are interested in finding out more about fostering give The Fostering Foundation a ring on 03300 102045 or email info@fosteringfoundation.co.uk. Alternatively enquire through their website www.fosteringfoundation.co.uk or their facebook page.
Sarah“You speak to a lot of people who say “I couldn’t do what you do” but to see how children change is wonderful,” she said. “A lot of children come to you because of neglect. The way it was described to me was like a wall, you have to build good foundations, but these children are like walls full of holes, you are taking them back and teaching them things, filling in the missing bits.”
Sarah admitted it could be unnerving to invite a stranger into your life and your home – especially a confused child that had already had six placements in as many years – but with very good support and training from the Fostering Foundation, she has grown herself as a person.
said Pauline, who agreed with Sarah that training and good support were vital to the success of a good fostering experience, plus a proactive social worker and a helpful and understanding school.
She explained that while foster carers were given as much information as possible by the local authorities about a youngster’s background, the full extent might never be known. She notices that her foster child ‘starts playing up’ at certain times of the year, which she believes coincides with the anniversary of changes in placements. Repeated upheaval and emotional rollercoasters obviously have a huge and ongoing effect on young and impressionable minds.
As Sarah said, “It’s a 24/7 job, you can’t go sick, but at the end of the day you have to care, you need to have sympathy and empathy and you have to have a certain ability to not get drawn into their past, but to look to their future. It is very challenging – but very rewarding.”
