AS the pandemic puts more relationships under strain, Citizens Advice Mendip has shared practical steps to take if a relationship breaks down.
They say, “Relationships are under strain as never before in the pandemic, as more couples break up and the divorce rate soars.
“Being in each other’s company more than usual, socially isolated from family and friends, having to home school and worrying about job security and getting into debt, all take their toll on even the strongest couples.
“So, if there were strains in relationships before the lockdowns started, it is not surprising that Covid is causing more breakdowns now.
“If you are in this situation and you and your partner have decided that things are no longer working as you would like, you need to start considering your next steps.”
“It can be a really painful experience for all concerned,” said Ian Byworth, CEO of Citizens Advice Mendip, “but you need to be clear about your rights and obligations, especially if children are involved.
“Where will your children live and how often will the other parent be able to see them? Where will you live and how will you divide up your existing property between you? How will you pay the bills when you’re living on your own?”
Here are some of the key next steps outlined by Citizens Advice Mendip:
1. Separation: if you and your partner can agree on a separation, you don’t need to go to court. It’s cheaper and quicker to do it yourselves. Write down your agreed arrangements and then it’s a good idea to talk it through with a solicitor. You can find one on the Law Society website.
2. If you can’t agree with your ex-partner: you can try to reach an agreement using a mediator – someone who can help you sort any differences you have about money, property or children. The process starts with a ‘mediation information and assessment meeting’ (MIAM) where you’ll find out what mediation is and how it can help you. To find a local mediator search for ‘Family Mediation Council’ in your browser. You may be able to get help with mediation fees if you are on a low income.
3. Children: if possible, it’s best to keep arrangements about children informal by finding a workable solution between you or with the help of a mediator. You both have a responsibility for the cost of looking after your children when you separate and the parent who moves out may have to pay maintenance to the partner looking after the children
4. Deciding what to do about your home: normally you need to decide: who stays and who moves out; whether you both move out and end the tenancy or decide to sell the family home; whether one of you buys the other out or you carry on living separate lives under the same roof. It all depends on what you can afford and whether you have children.
5. Managing the money: you need to agree how to split up any money you have jointly in bank or building society accounts, savings accounts or investments. Similarly with any shared debts, such as a loan or credit card.
6. Who to notify: if you pay Council Tax, you need to tell the local council – you may pay less living on your own. If you get benefits as part of a couple, you should tell the office that deals with your claim as soon as you’ve separated as there’s a 30-day deadline for most benefits. Also if you get tax credits you should tell HMRC within 30 days.
You can access free, independent and confidential advice from Citizens Advice in Mendip. Following government advice, their offices are currently closed for face-to-face sessions, but please visit their website www.citizensadvicemendip.org.uk for details of how to email them. Alternatively, you can contact their free Somerset Adviceline on 0808 27 87 842 (open Mon-Fri, 10am-4pm).
