A group for dads has launched in Frome to provide a network of support and a space for dads to talk about their mental health and share experiences.
For Dads Sake launched in June, founded by four local men – Max, Wayne, Alex and Ben – and offers a space where local dads can talk, share advice and form friendships and connections with others who may have shared experiences.
“Dads of all different ages, with children of all different ages, from anywhere in the area are welcome to join the group,” said Max, one of the dads leading the group. “Although we are born in Frome, the hope is that it will attract dads from all over the surrounding areas. We are not mutually exclusive to Frome.”
The first official For Dads Sake meet-up was on 2nd July at the Archangel pub, where over 20 dads attended.
Eventually, the group plans to host picnics in the park and hopes to fundraise for mental health charities through charity walks and other activities with their children.
“Whilst we are not trained in mental health support, we do have life experience and can signpost to local charities and groups and Frome Medical Practice, which may be able to support,” said Wayne.
The name For Dads Sake has a dual meaning. “It was inspired by the expletive that we all can mutter under our breath,” said Max. “Our hope is that the term For Dads Sake would be used around the children instead of the expletive, and at the same time, the group is for dads’ sake.’”
The core group originally met back in January at a Frome football match. Max said as soon as he started opening up to Wayne about his experiences and struggles, the benefits of having other dads to turn to became apparent.
Max said, “We suddenly realised that this is what For Dads Sake is about – a space where you can just unload, ask questions, have a pint and have people to turn to, not just for the social side but we are hoping the group will allow people to form new social connections with others who are in the same stage and turn to people for advice because there are hopefully going to be dads of different ages.
“When Mia, my daughter, was born it became apparent that there are plenty of groups for mums to go to; dads can go as well, but there is nothing really around specifically just for dads.
“You can find yourself as parents really hemmed in and restricted in what you can do. What I noticed with my wife is that there are so many support groups for mums and she made a lot of friends in those mum groups and had people to turn to and people to text. As a dad, I felt a bit isolated with that because we don’t generally speak about stuff.
“We really want there to be an obvious place for dads to go. Mums and dads go through such a different experience with giving birth. Both parents are simultaneously going through the same thing but in very different ways.”
Mental health support
The premise of the group is to fill a gap in mental health support available for dads. Wayne said, “I really struggled when my son was born and I just found there is no real help for dads. You have also seen your partner go through the trauma of giving birth and then you have to support them.
“Even on the notice boards in the waiting room, they are all mum’s groups. We are not experts; we are just mates that want to have a chat and share issues.”
Looking ahead five years, the group hopes to form a charity and register as a social enterprise, making money through donations, fundraising and selling merchandise. “If this does take off and people do get behind it, that would be the absolute dream,” said Max.
The next meet-up is planned for Wednesday 6th August with details yet to be confirmed. Keep an eye on the group’s Facebook and Instagram page for more information.
