A MAN from Frome who has terminal cancer is sharing his story as Parliament prepares to debate the Assisted Dying Bill this month. He hopes his story will help raise awareness and contribute to the growing call for change.
Rex van der Spuy, 54, has been given weeks to live and is calling for the legalisation of assisted dying in the UK to help people like himself who face unbearable suffering at the end of life.
His journey with cancer began three years ago when he was diagnosed with melanoma. While immunotherapy initially offered hope, his cancer spread to multiple organs, and he has now exhausted all treatment options.
“The cancer is everywhere and irreversible,” Rex told Frome Times. “I’m on heavy doses of morphine and high-powered steroids to ease the symptoms but am deteriorating daily, with increasing suffering. I have no way out of this, and witnessing this is horribly traumatic for myself and my family.”
Rex and his wife, Zaria, have had numerous difficult conversations about his condition, and together, they have come to a painful but unified conclusion; assisted dying is the most compassionate option for him.
“We have all agreed that if an assisted dying option were available to me legally, it would absolutely be the most humane and kindest option for me at this point,” Rex explained. “The free choice of a person to decide whether they live or die, in the context of terminal illness and inevitable increasing suffering, is a fundamental human right.”
The Assisted Dying Bill is set to be introduced to Parliament on 16th October. If passed, it could give terminally ill individuals the legal right to choose to end their lives in a controlled and peaceful manner. While the bill may come too late for Rex, he remains committed to its passage, hoping that others in his situation will not have to endure unnecessary suffering.
Rex’s cancer journey has been marked by moments of hope and devastating setbacks. After his initial diagnosis, he underwent a year of immunotherapy treatment, but despite early signs of success, the cancer spread to his lungs, liver, spleen, and neck. Further treatments were rendered impossible when Rex developed an autoimmune response to the powerful drugs.
“Eventually, the cancer spread everywhere,” he said. “My oncologist gave me the news – there was nothing more they could do.”
Despite his grim prognosis, Rex continued to live an active life, even taking hikes and doing yoga. But soon after, his health began to decline rapidly. Persistent high fevers and severe pain set in, making day-to-day life increasingly difficult.
“Miraculously the morphine and steroids have eased the pain; there were periods before when the pain was so bad that every move I made was causing intense shooting pain all over my body. I could barely walk to the bathroom. I have hiked to the Everest base camp, but getting to the bathroom was harder.
“The scary part now is that I know I’m just being held aloft by the medication. And every day, I’m noticing slightly increased pain, slightly decreased ability. My breathing is hard. I can walk from the sofa to another chair, but I’m struggling to breathe.
“I’ve been fortunate to have incredible care from Dorothy House and district nurses but even with this amazing support, the reality is that my condition is only going to worsen, and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.”
As Rex’s condition progresses, he faces the prospect of spending his final days in severe pain, with his family forced to witness his suffering. “At some point, the palliative care medication will become ineffective, and I will be dying in quite probably horrible pain with my wife and family unable to help,” he said. “That is the worst thing for me – watching them suffer like that unnecessarily.”
Rex briefly considered travelling to Switzerland to pursue assisted dying through Dignitas, but time is running out as his symptoms worsen. “We’ve run out of time,” Rex said, reflecting on how quickly his health has declined. “This is why I am urging the people of Frome to support the Assisted Dying Bill.”
Rex’s message to the community is clear: “If people feel strongly about this, if they’ve had relatives in the same situation as me, please, please, please contact our local MP, Anna Sabine, and ask her to vote in favour of this bill. No one should have to endure endless suffering when a peaceful option could be available.”
