‘An enormous relief for others’: terminally ill Frome resident praises assisted dying vote

A terminally ill man from Frome has praised MPs for taking a historic step towards legalising assisted dying, saying the decision could save others from ‘painful and horrible deaths.’

Rex van der Spuy, 54, who has advanced cancer and only days or perhaps weeks to live, described the vote in favour of the assisted dying bill as a ‘huge relief’ for future sufferers. While the change in law will come too late for him, Rex says it will spare countless others from unnecessary suffering.

“It’s an enormous relief,” he said. “It will save so many painful and horrible deaths, as well as all the grief of family and loved ones.

“It will be a few years before it becomes law which unfortunately will be too late for me but I’m very, very delighted for other people.

“From what I have read, the legislation has been very well drawn up. People have expressed concern about a ‘slippery slope’ but I don’t think there’s a danger of that; I think it’s been very well written.

“I’ve had a lot of support from our local MP, Anna Sabine, which is great; she came to see me and my wife, Zaria, and was very supportive. I had an email from her after the vote which is great.

“My own situation has deteriorated; in August, I was given from weeks to months to live; now at the end of November, I have unfortunately and progressively got worse; I’m entirely bed-bound with 24-hour home care being provided by a care agency; and incredible support from the Dorothy House and District Care Nurses.

“The disease has spread quite rapidly and I’m counting the days now. I can’t walk much more than a few feet so am stuck in bed. 

“Fortunately, my pain medication is largely under control although I’ve had attacks of breathlessness where I don’t get enough air and get a feeling of drowning or suffocation which is quite terrifying.

“We’ve had to call the district nurse for emergency but they have been able to treat it with the right combination of sedative and other medication.

“It’s can be scary and with terrifying pain at times; cancer is a horrible disease; it’s tough and brings challenges every day but I’m hanging on.

“I’m very, very happy that the bill has gone through; it will be an enormous relief to terminally ill people in the future who will face terrible suffering – and to their families.”

Rex’s journey with cancer began three years ago when he was diagnosed with melanoma. While immunotherapy initially offered hope, his cancer spread to multiple organs, and he has now exhausted all treatment options. “I have no way out of this, and witnessing this is horribly traumatic for myself and my family,” he said.

“There were arguments mixed into the debate about better palliative care but they are completely different arguments.

“I am going through palliative care and I can absolutely say that there is no care that is available that can adequately treat the kind of pain that people like myself can experience; it just does not exist.”

MPs voted by 330 to 275 to approve the assisted dying bill in the House of Commons last Friday. It was an historic vote which paves the way for a change in the law to allow terminally ill adults expected to die within six months to seek help to end their own life provided their request is approved by two doctors and a judge.

The bill will now face many months of scrutiny by both MPs and peers in the House of Lords, who can amend it. It will then need the approval of both Houses of Parliament before it becomes law.

“There’s still things to be worked out with the bill but I’m pretty hopeful that will become law,” added Rex.

“Ultimately the right to a person’s choice over whether they live or die should entirely remain with that person and I think that should be available to everyone where there is going to be suffering.

“That’s not to say that, if the option were there, I would use it but it would be a great relief if it was an option.

“It’s very likely that in a few days or weeks from now, I’m going to be in a situation where I’m in an extremely painful decline which is irreversible with no control over my body and with no way to manage pain and, in a situation like that, I would like the option to say ‘that’s enough’.”