Humans of Frome: Amelia Elsa Pereira

Amelia Elsa Pereira is a name that has been around for little more than a year.  A name chosen for its meaning, Amelia and Elsa being names that can be both male and female in other cultures around the world. Amelia identifies as gender neutral or gender fluid, which basically means she doesn’t chose to identify with either gender and prefers the flexibility in flowing between either male or female.

I met Amelia on a ‘girl day’ so we will refer to her with female pronouns during this article. It’s not often that you get to choose a name that you feel represents the real you, not just the you that your parents projected onto you at birth.  Amelia Elsa Pereira is the chosen name of a very singular individual living in Frome.

Born in Bath, Amelia (formerly known as Miles) has been on a long journey, a longer journey than most people will have travelled by their mid twenties. At the tender age of 8, she lost her Father to cancer, his illness provoked by a difficult separation from her Mother, a descent into alcoholism and a car accident which resulted in him rolling his vehicle leaving him physically depleted and vulnerable to illness.  Amelia, was sent away in the aftermath, she laughs and says ‘Who would want a crazy 8 year old running around when you have all that to deal with?’  She says that she didn’t deal with her Father’s death until she hit her teens.  At the age of 16, her relationship with her Mother broke down resulting in her being kicked out of home.

Amelia has lived in Frome ever since.  A well known face on the local music scene, she plays in not one but three bands, and plays more than one instrument too…Drums, for Ghost Of The Avalanche, Guitar, for her band Alkahest, and vocals for an experimental jazz band here in Frome alongside local music stalwarts John Ruddock and Vicki Burke.  On the day that we meet, just about everyone stopped and chatted with Amelia, she is clearly a well liked and familiar face about town… but then, Frome and its people have been both her home and family for over a decade.

In the past few years, Amelia has lost two friends, Sam Stephenson and Callum Wooldridge to suicide, – both sudden deaths and devastating blows to their families, friendship groups and the wider reaching Frome community… so many lives touched by the tragedy of young lives ended too soon.   Amelia, talks of how grieving for the loss of her friends raised so many issues for her, not least the death of her own Father but also her own mental health concerns.  For years Amelia (then Miles) had been experiencing discomfiting feelings, a sense of not quite belonging in her own body.  Experimenting with wearing feminine clothing in private for years, Amelia felt that enough was enough – keeping secrets and suffering what she knew to be gender dysphoria on her own was no longer a viable and healthy option for her.

In 2016, Amelia took the brave and necessary steps to ‘come out’ to her friends… a terrifying yet liberating experience.  The absolute joy and relief that she felt at the complete acceptance and understanding of her friends was enough fuel to keep her moving forward with her journey to finding a place of comfort in herself.  Now the author behind the eloquent and heartfelt ‘Girl Brain, Boy Body’ WordPress blog, Amelia has gone that step further.   She is sharing her experience with the world, describing her journey in what to many would be terrifying and unchartered waters.   The blog is a good read, candid and articulate, Amelia’s willingness to share what must be a daunting experience with the reader is to be applauded.

An ex- chemistry lab assistant at Frome College, Amelia talks of when she first came out, wearing more feminine clothing in public.  She laughs at how students would call out ‘Hey sir, where did you get your nail varnish? It’s lush!’   She describes that she gets a lot of looks in town but has felt so fortunate to live in a town like Frome where people are so understanding and open minded and accepting of those different to themselves.

In her latest blog, Amelia talks of a recent trip to Exeter, where she visited a specialist in a gender identity clinic.  A 2 hour appointment which allowed her to ask all of her questions and get the answers she needed.  Pretty much all information pertaining to her condition had been gleaned from the internet which as she states in her blog is ‘a dangerous place’.  I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like to search the internet for answers to such a complex situation,(I’m sure we’ve all had those experiences of trying to diagnose something online…terrifying indeed).   This initial appointment will lead to treatment at the Gender clinic with an end goal where Amelia’s body matches what is going on in her head.   Amelia identifies as both male and female, so is not interested in undergoing any surgery but there are treatments open to her which will hopefully help her to achieve a sense of happiness and acceptance of who she is.

We go out onto Catherine Hill to take some photos, Amelia shedding her jacket and bag to better display her ‘Gender is Over’ T-shirt.  She stands defiantly in the middle of the street posing for her photo, numerous people greeting her fondly as they pass.  Photographing Amelia looking so confident and brave, is a true testament to the importance of confronting your inner demons head on, to reaching out for the support and friendship of those around you, and to the understanding of a town that celebrates those who dare to be different.

To read more about Amelia and her journey please visit https://girlbrainboybody.wordpress.com/